ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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