my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
