no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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