Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
