Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
