But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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