she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize