Where is the hickey?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
