all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
