I heard we made out
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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