We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
