Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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