I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
