she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i think im in europe. pls send help
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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