Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize