just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
