She said her name was "party"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
