I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
