We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize