Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
