fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
