Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
that's an acceptable place to lick
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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