Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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