absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
