can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
