I can tuck mytits in my pants
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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