Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Too much gin, very little bucket
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
