Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
