RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
