My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
kristin has been a bad kristin
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
