Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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