tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize