Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
