hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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