Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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