Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
