Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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