I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
