I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
