cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
