I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
