You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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