i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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