Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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