i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My breasts were aching with rage.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
