i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
