i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
