Already got asked if we're dating
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
