I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
