Can i not drive my cunt home
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
