could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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