I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
