I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
